Truly a day of ups and downs.
I saw Jane this morning and she is in a terrible state. She has had a degenerative brain disorder for the last eighteen months or so, and every time I see her she seems to be even frailer. Life (and death) is so unfair.
She actually seemed quite bright and breezy when I first arrived and told me that I had just missed Stephen and Conrad. Her moments of wakefulness though don’t last for long, and her medication is such that she slept for most of the hour I was with her. It breaks my heart to see her like this – a stronger woman I have never known. I will visit again tomorrow.
My date with Charles, however, was bags of fun. He has quite a sense of humour, and one wouldn’t suspect that he’s not just a boring accountant after talking to him. He is well travelled (especially the Far East – a region I have always dearly wished to see), well versed in history and even pretended to be interested when I explained the basics of my research. We ended with a nightcap at The Eagle. If I had met him at a different time in my life, I could imagine a relationship evolving with him. It seems foolish to think of such things now though – my heart belongs elsewhere.